Bogans – sarahjacksonwriter

Tomorrow is Melbourne Cup Day. This is a wonderful time if you like horses (provided none get injured during the race and require putting down) or fashion. It is also a public holiday here and most people take the opportunity to have an extra long weekend (taking both the previous Friday and Monday off as well).

Sadly Cup Day also brings out hoards of Bogans, who don ill-fitting suits or too tight/short/small dresses and ridiculous shoes in celebration of the day, These folk generally get horribly drunk, fight, vomit in public and ruin the day for most.

Another joy of the Cup is the plethora of advertisements for “on line” gambling organisations, each out to make themselves look like a “dead cert”, “sure bet” establishment, which will dramatically increase your social standing, success with the opposite sex, and increase you bank balance. I very much worry about the lack of balance in gaming advertising – It is very easy to imagine the distress that the actual financial losses will cause the easily fooled.

Gamble responsibly and have a super day!

Rubber Shoes – no not the groovy Rubber Soul record

This is a totally off topic whinge, but it is something that has been bothering me for some time. With the warmer months creeping up on us here in the Southern Hemisphere, the influx of the thong is upon us. No I am not talking about the skimpy undergarment often favoured by those with butt checks resembling a pair of blancmanges being transported by a camel galloping across rough terrain (although these present another visual feast for the unsuspecting); I am referring to the plastic/rubberised “footwear” (aka “Jandals” to our NZ friends).

There is something really special about hearing the rhythmic slapping of the thong against sweaty feet. It simply says “Bogan Summer”.

Now although plastic “footwear” may seem worthy of a whinge on its own, this is not my main gripe. What I find totally fascinating is why nobody seems to have a correctly fitting pair. These delights are not expensive. They are readily available. They do actually come in a wide range of widths and sizes, and yet so many seem to have a pair which is painfully small, or so ridiculously large that it looks like they are walking in a pair of canoes.

If you have any idea why there is such a sizing issue with thongs please let me know.

Still I guess it is a slightly better fashion statement than badly drawn tattoos, or those men/boys who insist on not wearing a shirt in public – why is it always the skinny or pigeon chested or really tubby chaps who think that this is a good look? (Oh and just in case you think I am only picking on the chaps, lassies with fat thighs (and you can be thin and still have fat thighs) should reconsider short-shorts and mini skirts – please – really – look in the mirror – ask a friend).

Whinge over – back to writing.