This is a totally off topic whinge, but it is something that has been bothering me for some time.  With the warmer months creeping up on us here in the Southern Hemisphere, the influx of the thong is upon us. No I am not talking about the skimpy undergarment often favoured by those with butt checks resembling a pair of blancmanges being transported by a camel galloping across rough terrain (although these present another visual feast for the unsuspecting); I am referring to the plastic/rubberised “footwear” (aka “Jandals” to our NZ friends).

There is something really special about hearing the rhythmic slapping of the thong against sweaty feet.  It simply says “Bogan Summer”.

Now although plastic “footwear” may seem worthy of a whinge on its own, this is not my main gripe.  What I find totally fascinating is why nobody seems to have a correctly fitting pair.  These delights are not expensive.  They are readily available.  They do actually come in a wide range of widths and sizes, and yet so many seem to have a pair which is painfully small, or so ridiculously large that it looks like they are walking in a pair of canoes.

If you have any idea why there is such a sizing issue with thongs please let me know.

Still I guess it is a slightly better fashion statement than badly drawn tattoos, or those men/boys who insist on not wearing a shirt in public – why is it always the skinny or pigeon chested or really tubby chaps who think that this is a good look? (Oh and just in case you think I am only picking on the chaps, lassies with fat thighs (and you can be thin and still have fat thighs) should reconsider short-shorts and mini skirts – please – really – look in the mirror – ask a friend).

Whinge over – back to writing.